Speechless

I titled this post "Speechless" because that is exactly what I am. For anyone who knows me, you know that this is not exactly a common occurrence. If anything it would do me some good to not always have something to say. Maybe that's why God took all the words out of my mouth this morning. 

Today is Thursday, so I went to teach English to my little munchkins. For anyone who read my post about the munchkins last week, you'll remember that I mentioned a little boy with special needs. Today I found out that his name is Javier. Javier and I interacted some last week. I helped him cut out his pirate eye patch and just made some small talk with him. His is one of those incredible children who, although they cannot say very much, are able to make your day with their bright eyes and sweet smile that effortlessly light up an entire room. Well today Javier and I met again except for this time out on the playground. 

I watched as the teacher, Natalia, brought Javier his walker. It took a lot of effort, but he was able to wriggle and twist his way off the ground to where he could hold himself up and walk just a little. He walks very slowly, so he lags behind all of his classmates. I decided to stay back and walk with him in order to keep him company. 

I noticed something when I did this. There were two little girls, I believe their names are Cristina and Maria, who began starting at me intently. They were giving me that sort of confused intrigued look that silently speaks their thoughts of, "What is she doing?" So I decided to walk a little faster in order to catch up with the other five-year olds. I did this as sort of an experiment. I wanted to listen to what the niñas were saying and what they were going to do. To my pleasant surprise Maria grabbed Cristina's hand, started smiling, and led her friend over to Javier. The two girls then began to walk with him  and happily chatted with him all the way. Javier's face absolutely lit up. So did mine. 

Javier was led by one of the assistants to the elevator, and I went on my way to the classroom. The assistant arrived with Javier a few minutes later. I had already started my lesson and had forty-eight eyes and raised eyebrows looking at me in confusion as I explained what a sea horse is in English. I was interrupted by the assistant when he looked at Natalia and asked, "Who is Christina?" I raised my hand and told him that I'm Christina. He asked if I'd been here before. I replied by saying that this was my second week volunteering here. He made my day with his response. The assistant looked at me, smiling, and said, "You must have made quite an impression on Javier. He wouldn't stop talking about you for the past five minutes. He kept saying the Spanish equivalent to, 'Christina here. Christina here. Where Christina?' He must really like you." The assistant then walked off and got Javier settled into the classroom. I'm sure that I had an odd-looking smile on my face. I was elated and shocked all at the same time. I've always known that investing time and kindness into children sows some seeds with the utmost rewards. It's one of the biggest reasons I decided to become a teacher. And I've worked with children of all ages throughout my life. However, I've never made that fast of a positive impression on a child, at least not that I know of. 

On almost every street corner...
(Homeless man in Barcelona--Google Images)

That lesson and experience put me on cloud nine for the day. However, just when I thought that God had taught me His lesson for the day, He proved me wrong. I was walking home from the school and I had stopped to just wander through some of the local shops. I noticed that I was getting really hungry, so I quickly began to walk home. Yet instead of taking my usual, direct route, I ended up turning down some street I've never been down for no apparent reason at all. I even thought to myself, "Why did you come this way? You're starving and it'll probably take you an extra 20 minutes to find your way back now." I continued walking down the street when I looked to my right and saw a homeless man sleeping. Like at home, this is a rather common occurrence. Normally I do the terrible thing and think of some lame excuse as to why not to help the person. It's usually along the lines of, "Oh, well their probably just looking for a handout to go feed some addiction." However, I do give every once in awhile when I really feel led to. This man looked the same as all the others. Dirty, tired, hungry, kind of sickly, with a shopping cart near by with his few belongings. But for some reason, he was different. 

He stopped me right in my tracks without so much as a word or even a look. Yet I kept walking. I took about two steps and I felt something say, "Seriously, Christina? You want to help him you know that, so why don't you do it. This man is different. Look at him; he needs help." Oddly enough I looked right beside where I was I was standing...a grocery store. I went in and bought some bread and fruit. It was about all that they had, and I only had one Euro in my pocket to buy him food with. I wrapped up all the food and laid it beside him without saying a word. I've never, ever, in my life seen a person's eyes get so big and bright. It's like I'd handed him the whole world. That's the only exchange we had, a brief two-second, eye-to-eye, thank you. 

I'm not a cryer. Never have been, never want to be. But for some reason I started bawling on the side of the street. If I wasn't getting enough stares due to my American attire, this helped to rack me up the ones that I was missing out on. It's like something had finally connected inside of me. That's about the only way that I know how to describe it. I know that to most of the world, I am the 1%, not the 99%. I have everything I need plus so much more. Just five minutes before passing this man I was contemplating going out later that day to buy more clothes that I definitely don't need just because I feel a little uncomfortable here. I was even thinking about how nice it would be to have some extra money to be able to go out for coffee and tapas because that's what it seems that the locals do here...spend, eat, spend.

From the time that you're a child you're taught to give to the less fortunate and help others. My mom always had my sister and I give our toys, clothes, and other unnecessary items to people who had less. We worked in soup kitchens, donated money, ect. However, I, like everyone else, forget how good I really do have it. Furthermore, I have failed to realize that this is a world-wide phenomenon. In 2005, there were 19,000 homeless people in Spain. This was prior to the economy's downfall. Since then unemployment has skyrocketed, and I mean skyrocketed to a 20% overall unemployment rate. To make it worse, there are few government funds allocated to help ease these people's burden. And the funds that are available are not nearly enough. Even for those with resources, this is an expensive country. I can't imagine what it's like for those who are truly struggling.

I did not plan on telling about my encounter with this gentleman let alone writing this short novel. I'm not a person who believes in displaying so called "Good Samaritan" moments. However, I felt compelled to do so this time for one reason, enlightenment. Not exactly political enlightenment or even to encourage everyone to go sell all their belongings and give all their money to people. No, that's not why. I'm doing this in order to share my enlightenment on the little lessons. Before i left to come to Spain, I knew that God had a purpose for allowing me to come. Everything lined up too easily for it not to be at His hand. I've been expecting some awesome, hallelujah chorus transformation or vision or something. That's not exactly what's been happening. Instead, He's teaching me little by little instead of just smacking me in the face like usual (that's what He has to do to the extremely stubborn, slightly air-headed people). He's opening my eyes just a little each day in situations and places that I never expect. Whether it's with Javier from my kindergarten classroom, taking me down a different street to meet a gentleman, or just making me appreciate even more what He's given me at home. God's teaching me far more than I ever expected He's just doing it "poco a poco" ... "little by little," which I'm learning can be far more powerful than I ever imagined.