Grow from the Changes, Embrace the Push

To say the least, the past year of my life has been, well, a doozie, a roller coaster ride, and a chaotic twelve months full of events that I never could have imagined taking place. The only aspect that all of these occurrences have had in common is that they were completely unexpected. I've never exactly led a normal life, and that's something I've come to appreciate...most of the time. However, for the past few years my life has been fairly comfortable. It was mostly the same, nothing too crazy. Now understand this, of course my life changed regardless of how same-ol' same-ol' it seemed to me. Life is ever-changing even if sometimes those changes aren't acknowledged except in retrospect. And although I could ramble on, like usual, about the dozens of turn-my-world-upside-down changes that have transpired, there is one that is the key to understanding them all...grow from the changes, embrace the push.

Most of the time I tend to be a creature of habit. Therefore, I often cringe at the thought of something that would disturb my oh so exciting routine. However, over the last year, my relationship with God has been transformed in so many ways. Most importantly, my faith and trust in Him and His plans has grown exponentially. I've learned to listen more closely, and to follow more often. As a result, the whole idea of being a creature of habit has more or less become obsolete. I've learned that as I listen and follow His whispers, or often in my case strong pushes (He knows I'm a stubborn young lady), that my life is constantly changing. That's not to say that I'm now leading the life of a lady version of James Bond, but I certainly have a new take on life--grow from the unexpected changes.

As a result of all this, my eyes are now more open to see, my ears more willing to hear, and my mouth slower to speak. What's more, is that this is now become my daily walk. As a result of the growth of our relationship, God uses people on the street to open my mind's eye and perhaps a song, a sermon, or a few seemingly ordinary words to lead me on His path. Is this always an easy walk? Far from it. In fact, lately it has taken quite a toll on me as I'm wandering continuing to seek His will. And that's how this ties into my journey in Spain.

I initially believe that the doors were opened for me to spend my four months in Sevilla in order to improve my Spanish, expand my understanding of other cultures, and possibly experience some sort of personal growth and such. Basically, I held the belief that the consequences of this adventure would be the ones that everyone told me about prior to my venture across the ocean. Yeah, not exactly what's happening. My Spanish has improved some and my cross-cultural appreciation has deepened. However, the personal growth part has turned out to be far more that what I bargained for. Every day I'm faced with new outlooks or issues, for a lack of a better word, to ponder and pray about. It's not very often that anyone is able to completely outside of their normal life for an extended period of time. You realize the unnecessary burdens that you continue to carry, you realize how constantly He is working in your life, how His plan is best, and most importantly you realize how weak yet strong your faith is when it's just God, you, and the love and mercy that He constantly gives you.

There have been times where I've been questioning why everything keeps redirecting my life right when I feel like everything has finally come together. But then I remember that He knows His plans for me and my duty is to follow and serve Him in all that I do. There is no doubt that I have not listened perfectly nor have acted upon many decisions in the way that He would have me to due to impatience amongst all the other faults that result from the fact that I am human. But through all this I have to remember what He tells us in Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." That's what I've come to hang onto as He works in my life each day, I trust that He knows what He's doing and that where He's leading me and how He's pushing me will ultimately work for His glory so long as I follow, trust, and love Him just as He's loved me.

A Week in Rome, a New Outlook, and a Lesson to Expect the Unexpected

So it's been almost a month since my last post. I would love to contribute it to going on a million awesome adventures. However, in reality, mid-terms and my incredible loss of time management skills are solely to blame. Regardless of what pesky issues are to blame, I'm finally here to give everyone a little insight as to what's been taking place in my overly-exciting life during the past few weeks.

On February 23rd, Danielle, Hallie, and I all boarded on a plane, with our itty-bitty bags (thanks Ryanair) and set off on our adventure in Rome, Italy. The only way to describe this trip was a God-sent. The timing, the weather, all the glutenous food, absolutely everything was exactly what all three of us needed to relieve some of the tension we had all developed during our first five weeks in Sevilla.

I have to say that I'm extremely proud of how much we accomplished during our five-day stay in Roma. We saw the Colosseum, the Pantheon, and the Roman Ruins. Not to mention St. Peter's Basilica, the Vatican, and the Sistine Chapel. Oh, did I mention that we got to see the Pope and hear him speak? No big deal or anything. Who am I kidding...that was incredible! More impressively we managed to conquer basically every Italian food that we wanted to try as well as downing a minimum of three scoops of gelato a day. All I have to say is that I don't know if TCBY will ever quench my ice cream hankering ever again.

Aside from all the memories that we created during our adventure, I'd have to say that the most valuable souvenir that we took away from our Italian escapade was that we returned to Spain with a lessened dislike for it. All three of us agreed that we developed more of an appreciation for the opportunity that we had been given. I mean, really, how many twenty-somethings get to live in Europe for four months? Although it pained us to leave the delectable Nutella-filled croissants and café lattes that we devoured each morning, we returned to Spain refreshed. We were a lot more thankful to be in Spain. Granted probably 90% of this thankfulness stemmed from the fact that our Sevillan showers allow us to actually move while we bathe, thus allowing us not to look like a Snuffaluffagus. Regardless, that other 10% is what has made me almost enjoy being in Spain. And now that I'm almost half-way through my stay here, that's pretty darn important.

If you're already tired of reading, I suggest the following: A) get a cup of coffee or tea - or- B) coming to read this second half later. Obviously my procrastination problems have worsened during my stay abroad. Therefore, if I do not blog about this now, it may not be documented until halfway through July. Ready? Now to proceed to "A Lesson to Expect the Unexpected."

So hopefully some of you reading this read my previous blog entitled "Speechless." If not, please do so as it helps save me from being repetitive.

Some of you may know this, some may not, but before I left for Spain I was really wanting to find mission opportunities to take advantage of since I saw it as an usual opportunity. However, my searches didn't really turn up anything. So, I just continued to pray. I knew that God had a reason for giving me this opportunity that went far beyond just learning Spanish and getting to say that I'd been to Europe. This is where "Speechless" comes in; it was the beginning of at least the partial revealing of His reasoning.

During these past two months I've come to notice homeless people more and more. Normally I'm completely guilty of just passing by because even though I feel the need to help, I figure I'm just feeding an addiction. I hate admitting that, but it's completely true. However, that has changed since my encounter with the man on the street from "Speechless." I see these people with more open eyes, mind, and heart. And although I can't save the world or give every person I see what I'd like to give them, I can use what I have to help. So, I've started making "Blessing Bags.". It's something simple to make and easy to keep in your car, purse, whatever. You can just fill it with a few essentials and then you're able to give it to someone who needs help while knowing that you're providing something useful to them. I found the idea on Pintrest, and I think it's a great idea that I'd like to share with all of my family and friends.

Okay, well you're probably sitting there thinking, "Well, that's great and all, but I don't see why this is so life changing." Because I'm finally listening. I came here searching for some grand mission trip or massive opportunity, and that's what I expected to find. But anyone who's known me for very long can figure out that I tend to be a stubborn person. I prefer to call it a personal drive, but sometimes it hinders me from being open to new opportunities because when I want to do something, that's it. Here's the deeper issue, I'm human. And all too often my plans may not correspond with God's. For many years I've been scared to listen to Him. I don't like change and I knew that change is what He would bring. That changed this summer and ever since my prayer every night includes something to the effect of, "Father, whop me upside the head when I don't listen. Give me your eyes and ears. Make me listen so that Your will may be done. Really though, I mean it. Smack me in the face." And He has.

I could go on and on about all the changes He's made in me and in my life. But He's only given us a 24-hour day, so I'll try to keep it short. During the past few weeks, He's been reminding me of all these passions that He's given me. Some of these passions include children, teaching, languages, and helping others. Hence the fact that I'm studying to be a teacher. However, I've never felt like I was going to have a conventional career. I don't believe that I'll be one of the amazingly, fantastic teachers who have taught for thirty years. I whole-heartedly hold strong to the belief that He's using my time here to start pulling these passions together, little-by-little, in order to begin showing me where He wants me to go. And that is not at all what I expected to get from my time away from home. Yet having His will revealed and growing stronger in my relationship with Him is the most important aspect of my trip. Yes, I strive to meet this goal everyday no matter where I am. But it's amazing the ways that God works in you when He's literally your everything. When you don't have your home, your family, or your friends nearby. You finally fully and completely lean on Him. And that, well, that is the most awesome, beautiful, incredible, astounding gift that He could have blessed me with here--a new understanding and growth in my relationship with my Saviour, my Counselor, and my Best Friend--Jesus Christ.