Grow from the Changes, Embrace the Push

To say the least, the past year of my life has been, well, a doozie, a roller coaster ride, and a chaotic twelve months full of events that I never could have imagined taking place. The only aspect that all of these occurrences have had in common is that they were completely unexpected. I've never exactly led a normal life, and that's something I've come to appreciate...most of the time. However, for the past few years my life has been fairly comfortable. It was mostly the same, nothing too crazy. Now understand this, of course my life changed regardless of how same-ol' same-ol' it seemed to me. Life is ever-changing even if sometimes those changes aren't acknowledged except in retrospect. And although I could ramble on, like usual, about the dozens of turn-my-world-upside-down changes that have transpired, there is one that is the key to understanding them all...grow from the changes, embrace the push.

Most of the time I tend to be a creature of habit. Therefore, I often cringe at the thought of something that would disturb my oh so exciting routine. However, over the last year, my relationship with God has been transformed in so many ways. Most importantly, my faith and trust in Him and His plans has grown exponentially. I've learned to listen more closely, and to follow more often. As a result, the whole idea of being a creature of habit has more or less become obsolete. I've learned that as I listen and follow His whispers, or often in my case strong pushes (He knows I'm a stubborn young lady), that my life is constantly changing. That's not to say that I'm now leading the life of a lady version of James Bond, but I certainly have a new take on life--grow from the unexpected changes.

As a result of all this, my eyes are now more open to see, my ears more willing to hear, and my mouth slower to speak. What's more, is that this is now become my daily walk. As a result of the growth of our relationship, God uses people on the street to open my mind's eye and perhaps a song, a sermon, or a few seemingly ordinary words to lead me on His path. Is this always an easy walk? Far from it. In fact, lately it has taken quite a toll on me as I'm wandering continuing to seek His will. And that's how this ties into my journey in Spain.

I initially believe that the doors were opened for me to spend my four months in Sevilla in order to improve my Spanish, expand my understanding of other cultures, and possibly experience some sort of personal growth and such. Basically, I held the belief that the consequences of this adventure would be the ones that everyone told me about prior to my venture across the ocean. Yeah, not exactly what's happening. My Spanish has improved some and my cross-cultural appreciation has deepened. However, the personal growth part has turned out to be far more that what I bargained for. Every day I'm faced with new outlooks or issues, for a lack of a better word, to ponder and pray about. It's not very often that anyone is able to completely outside of their normal life for an extended period of time. You realize the unnecessary burdens that you continue to carry, you realize how constantly He is working in your life, how His plan is best, and most importantly you realize how weak yet strong your faith is when it's just God, you, and the love and mercy that He constantly gives you.

There have been times where I've been questioning why everything keeps redirecting my life right when I feel like everything has finally come together. But then I remember that He knows His plans for me and my duty is to follow and serve Him in all that I do. There is no doubt that I have not listened perfectly nor have acted upon many decisions in the way that He would have me to due to impatience amongst all the other faults that result from the fact that I am human. But through all this I have to remember what He tells us in Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." That's what I've come to hang onto as He works in my life each day, I trust that He knows what He's doing and that where He's leading me and how He's pushing me will ultimately work for His glory so long as I follow, trust, and love Him just as He's loved me.